i'm not at a rosanne cash show right now....nor did i see one today...and, i'm rather disappointed about that...she was playing right in new hampshire...and of all places, she was playing at the hopkins center at dartmouth college...i could have make a weekend trip to enfield...or even to keene, if i really stretched myself...and i could have seen her plus caught up with friends in keene and that general area....
instead, i stayed home and did not a lot of anything...
....
i might be sinking into a rut of sorts now that i'm not working, and i really need to get myself out of said rut...
i really don't think i can go back to my old job for a few reasons, but i really don't know what i should be doing...i want more than anything to start subbing, but i need to figure out where i want to sub, how far i'm willing to travel, and what grades i'd like to sub for....among other things...
plus i think it costs something like $35 with the application, i guess that's for the background check...the thing about that is if i want to apply to say, four SAU's, that's $140 if each one require a background check (which i'm sure they will...) ... so, that's a little steep, and it's a bit of a dillemma...
i guess i could just start talking to some of my friends who teach at different schools and seeing what happens from there...
who knows, maybe i'll end up finding a long term subbing job and things will "click" for me from there...
....
all i know is i don't like the rut i seem to have fallen into, and i need to get out of it soon...
and, this coming week seems like it's going to be crazy, but maybe in a good sort of way?....
tuesday i think i'll have the evening to myself, so maybe i'll go catch up with some friends in town or see if i can connect with someone for dinner or something...
....
tomorrow is church, and i'm really not even sure if i feel excited about that...i'm sure i'll be asked by someone (probably larry) to make or bring something for the members dinner next weekend, and then i'll say "i can't..." and then they'll ask why, and i'll say "well, because i won't be there..." and then they'll ask why i won't be there and i'll say "because i have a class to attend out of town..." and then i'll feel like a jerk....
dang, i think i almost talked myself out of going to church tomorrow...
however, i have to go for more reasons than my one reason to not go (avoiding the above conversation scene) .... reasons to go -- harry is up from florida doing some work on pastor shane & wanda's house...i miss harry & his wife & kids...and i really like talking to him...and i want to get his wife's number so i can call her to talk to her....also, i have to go because, well, i think i need lots of hugs...and what better place to get hugs than at church, right?...besides, there are people there that i need to talk to about certain things (including a small job possibility) so i really should go...
anyways....i think i should try to go get some sleep...last night i laid in bed for an hour and a half and couldn't fall alseep...i finally came and laid in bed with my mom and fell asleep...i woke up once midway through the night to use the bathroom and then went back up to my bed and fell right back to sleep....
...
mom and i usually sleep in bed together when we go to the house in enfield.... and sometimes when i'm really sick or something, i'll sleep in her bed downstairs...like last fall when i had broken that bone in my foot and needed a walking cast, i couldn't do stairs hardly at all...i slept downstairs for a month, mostly in her bed, but sometimes on the recliner in the living room...
also, when we get really cold winter nights and if we lose power, we'll curl up in bed together and the body heat helps keep us warm....
in some countries and cultures, whole families sleep in the same room....and when my aunts & uncles on my mom's side of the family were growing up, lots of them shared beds with their siblings (of the same gender!!) ... so it's really not a huge deal for either one of us...
anyhow, i'm off to bed...(hopefully my own!...)
...
one good thing that happened today: it was bright and sunny all day long, and the phone didn't ring much...also, i caught two episodes of avatar: the last airbender, which is probably my most favourite animie show...
happy saturday everyone...
-ramona anne
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