Changes...

This is the last week of the Spring semester at school...Time for changes once again...

I'm REALLY glad that my Physiology of Wellness class is almost over...(Tomorrow's the last meeting!...) The teacher was okay in the beginning but as time went on, I started to dislike her...That's unusual for me, I like pretty much everybody...She didn't have much compassion or understanding for any of the students, and I really felt like she just did not care, and that she almost was teaching the class because she "had to"...not because she wanted to...

I'm also fairly glad that my Readings in World Literature class is almost done, too, because that was a pretty heavy class...(I'm still not done the 6 to 10 page paper that's due Friday, but I have at least started it!...) I liked the reading and the writing, but I'll be glad when it's all over...

By far the best class this semester was Presentational Communications...I'm actually quite sad that we're done that class...I really liked getting up in front of the class and giving presentations...The instructor for that class is a believer, and it was so incredibly refreshing!...She actually prays for me...That just blows me away...(It always boggles my mind when people pray for me...And when they share how they are praying for me specifically -- that's something incredibly powerful!...)

She also truly cared about the students and was very understanding...She made class fun and was a great example of what an instructor should be...

I think Presentational Communications was the best class I have ever had through Granite State College...I really feel like I learned so much about myself in that class...

I learned a lot through the instructor, yes, but I also learned a lot from the other students and the bonding that took place in that classroom was really incredible...

Some of the other classes I really enjoyed at Granite State -- Intro To American Sign Language...Creativity: The Untapped Potential...The Writing Process...Experiencing the Arts (though I wouldn't suggest taking it as a weekend intensive...that was a little tiring!)...and Bird Ecology and Migration....

The bird class was tough, but I learned a lot, and it only developed my desire and passion for birdwatching...My aunt was in that class with me...Thankfully!...One day we were out on a field trip and there was a tick on me -- in the middle of my back near my bra...I am quite a modest person...I didn't want to ask just *anyone* to get it off of me...I suppose necessity would have won out over modesty if my aunt hadn't been there, but I was so glad she was there!!...

So, what am I taking this Summer?...Good question...you know, I haven't even registered for the summer...I'm actually still debating if I want to take summer classes or not...I've been really bad lately at procrastinating...I haven't even filled out all of the stuff for financial aid yet...I need to do that like, today, so I can fax them in tomorrow...Just in case I decide to take summer courses...

I almost feel like I want to take a break...Like I need to take one, actually...I've been taking classes non stop since I signed up in September of 2005...The thing is, I really want to hurry up and get done so I can get my post bacc. teaching certification and get a job teaching school...Also, I feel utterly lost without having classes...It's terrible...I'm almost like, addicted to classes...No joke...I love learning and discovering things...I just feel like I'd like a break, though...

I know during the long holiday break, I always feel totally empty and I never know what to do since I don't have classes...Of course, I'm usually visiting a lot of freinds and family over that time and I'm sort of relieved that I don't have classes or homework in one way, but also it always feels like part of me is gone for a little while...

I wonder if that's because I have made being a college student so much of my identity...It's not really who I am...I mean, yes, it's one aspect of who I am, and probably a large aspect of it at that...

It's not really my "identity"...It's certainly not who I am...

My identity should be found in Christ, and in Christ alone...

Being a student is more of a "label" I guess...A label that people placed on me, or that I placed on myself, who knows?...

Who am I?...Right now, I'm not really sure...

I went to prayer last night and one of the recurring things that keeeps coming up is clarity...Even in my own personal time with the Lord...It's almost as if I've been going in this one direction and at such incredible speed that I can't see clearly...Everything on the outside is a blur...

It's almost the end of June, and it really and truly feels like just yesterday that I was sitting in Carol's room, watching her sleeping in the hospital bed, singing "The More I Seek You" to her over and over again...That was on Dec. 30th...She went Home the following morning...

Six months later, and it seems like I've just been running blindly...

I need clarity and renewed vision...I think the Lord has been speaking to me some about this...I think He wants to fine-tune me even more, and I almost feel like there's going to be some major changes coming up...I can't speak too much about them just yet, because I need to be sure they are from Him...I can at this point, though, ask you all to please be praying for me...(I know some of you already do, and for that I thank you so very much!)

I guess I would ask you to pray for me to hear the voice of Truth clearly...and for a clearer vision and direction...And maybe strength and faith to do what the Lord is calling me to do...

Last night we closed prayer with the first verse and chorus of this song, which has been speaking to me a lot lately...

Voice of Truth
Casting Crowns

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat
And then onto the crashing waves
To step out of my confort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me time and time again
Boy, you'll never win...You'll never win...

But the voice of Truth tells me a different story
The voice of Truth says "Do not be afraid"
And the voice of Truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
Of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd've had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me time and time again
Boy, you'll never win...You'll never win...

But the voice of Truth tells me a different story
The voice of Truth says "Do not be afraid"
And the voice of Truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of Truth

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they all seem so small
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound
Of Jesus singing over me

But the voice of Truth tells me a different story
The voice of Truth says "Do not be afraid"
And the voice of Truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of Truth

I guess that's about all for now...I'm sure later I'll have more to srite about, because there's been a lot of stuff going on in the past few days, actually...Dreams I've had that I really want to share on here...

To be continued...